It's Official...

...I am now another myspace asshole. I only have time for one blog, so I'm shifting over to that one. MySpace is a clusterfuck of worthless interactions and jiggly visuals, but what little there is that's worthwhile may be enough to make up for it. I'll leave this up about another week.

One Year

This Thursday, it will have been one year since I first got onstage. In that time, comedy has earned me damn near fifty dollars. Comedy has also been directly responsible for me getting laid even less than before. Not that I expected to just walk onstage, tell a few shitty jokes, and get a free pass to the post-open-mic orgies, but I am a bit surprised that there seems to be no such thing as comedy groupies (actually, there is, but she lives in Decatur). So, for those of you looking for a career that will provide you with wealth and plenty of hot young ass, be a priest. It's basically the same job, anyway - every weekend you stand in front of a crowd, say a bunch of made up shit, and fuck a 12-year-old boy in the mouth.

I realize now that I haven't done a lot of religious material over the past year. I have my opinions about religion, but I don't suffer the delusion that a few jokes will change anyone else's mind about that. I firmly believe that every American has the inalienable right to subscribe to whatever bullshit fantasy he wants, even if it provides barely a moment's relief from the tedium of his miserable, opinionated existence.

And I respect that.

Anyway, I'll be celebrating my first year as a shitty comic by violating everyone at the Jukebox before J. Scott Homan shows us why we all suck.

Back

I went onstage for the first time in a couple months last week, again at the Jukebox. The crowd was small but responsive, and there were a few new guys in the "am" portion of the "pro-am" night. The pro spot was occupied by Tom Foss, whose energy (and appearance, sort of) reminded me of Robin Williams.

Glancing over this morning's headlines affirmed my heartfelt belief that the religious among us should be boiled in bat shit. Not because I don't share their beliefs but because they have no sense of humor.

On our side of the oil-slick, Xians - in observance of their long tradition of forming opinions and judgments without evidence - are complaining (what else?) about an episode of Will and Grace that hasn't aired yet.

Idea: Line up "people of faith" against a wall and, one by one, tell them a joke. Those who laugh, live. Those who don't...